Healing Fears (Smokey Mountain Book 3) Read online

  “You are mine, Elisa. From this point on. Say it.”

  “I’m yours,” she gasped, arching beneath him.

  The orgasm tore through him, more intense than anything he’d felt with anyone else before her. Rolling off of her, he gathered her close again, with one word racing through his mind over and over: Mine.

  Chapter 6

  Much to Elisa’s shock, Paul kept his promise about spanking her again when she refused to register for classes. After a thorough session with his thick, leather belt, she finally agreed and signed up for her first semester. Her parents were ecstatic, if a little confused, by her sudden change of heart.

  And now she and Penny were moving into their dorm rooms. It felt surreal, but she would’ve been lying if she said she wasn’t excited. Once she’d moved past her initial resentment toward the idea, she’d started feeling genuinely excited about the new experiences she’d be able to have.

  Not that she’d have as much freedom as most of the other girls on campus. Paul had laid down the law about his expectations for her, driving his message home with the back of her hairbrush when she’d balked at his rules. Remembering the sting of the plastic on her bare skin, she unconsciously rubbed at her backside, though the sting had long since faded.

  “Um, what are you doing?”

  Penny’s amused voice made her jump, and Elisa snatched her hand away from her bottom, busying herself with unpacking a box of clothes. “Nothing,” she mumbled, refusing to look her friend in the eye.

  “Uh huh.”

  It was obvious by Penny’s tone that she didn’t believe her for a second.

  “Spill, girl.”

  She couldn’t. It was humiliating. And what would Penny think of Paul if she told her? Elisa glanced over at the woman who’d been her best friend since they’d both been in diapers. “If I tell you, you have to swear you won’t tell a single soul.”

  Penny’s eyes lit up at the prospect of a secret. “Cross my heart.”

  “Okay.” Elisa sat cross legged on the bed next to her friend and took a deep breath. “I wasn’t originally planning on going to college.”

  “What the hell are you talking about? We’ve been talking about this since we were twelve.”

  Elisa shook her head. “You’ve been talking about this since we were twelve. I only applied to humor you and my parents. I was completely shocked when I got that acceptance letter.”

  Penny narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “So what are you doing here?”

  Elisa could feel the heat flushing her cheeks. “This is the part you can’t tell anyone. Paul, um, convinced me I should come. With his hand. On my ass. Until I agreed.”

  Penny’s eyes went wide. “He spanked you?”

  Elisa nodded.

  “God, you’re so lucky. I’d hate you if you weren’t my best friend.”

  Elisa just stared at her friend, who seemed to be pouting, of all things. “Lucky? Did you just hear what I said? He spanked me. And then he whipped me. With a belt. It hurt like hell.”

  “Because he loves you. I wish someone loved me like that,” Penny said with a wistful sigh.

  “This is the single most bizarre conversation we have ever had,” Elsa said, shaking her head in disbelief.

  As if talking about it had conjured him, Paul appeared in the doorway. “You girls getting settled in?”

  Elisa raced over and threw her arms around his neck, pressing a noisy kiss to his lips. “Almost done unpacking. Penny’s room is done, so we just have to finish up in here.”

  “Good.” He ran his hand down her back in that way he had that managed to make her feel cherished beyond measure in a single touch. It baffled her, still, that of all the women he knew, he’d chosen her. “Need any help?”

  “Nah, we’ve got it covered,” Penny said, then grinned over at him. “Unless you’re about to spill the beans on which frats have the best parties.”

  “Absolutely not.”

  Elisa rolled her eyes, which earned her The Look, as she thought of it. His eyes went hard and he raised one of his eyebrows. It always looked so… stern, she decided. She’d learned quickly to be very wary of that look, as it often preceded a trip over his knee.

  “You can’t honestly expect me to go four years without going to a party,” Elisa insisted. It was part of the ongoing discussion they’d been having about the rules he’d laid down for her.

  “I don’t. I do, however, expect you to listen to me about which parties you should and shouldn’t attend. I’m not having this discussion again, Elisa Marie.”

  Penny’s eyebrows shot up to her hairline at the use of Elisa’s full name. “Jesus, that’s hot. I wish you had a brother.”

  It delighted Elisa to see Paul look shocked, if even just for a moment. He recovered quickly and shot Penny a knowing grin. “Maybe I should find someone to keep you in line, since I’ll have my hands full with your friend here,” he said with a wink.

  Penny grinned back and made a show of licking her lips. “Works for me!”

  Elisa shook her head. “You’re both officially certifiable. Can we get something to eat? I’m starving.”

  “You’re always hungry, brat. Finish unpacking and I’ll take you both to dinner.” He left after a kiss steamy enough to make her head spin. When she turned back to face Penny, her friend was watching her with a huge, dreamy smile stretched across her face.

  “Have I mentioned yet how lucky you are?”

  Elisa grinned. “Yeah, I guess I am.”

  After dinner, they dropped Penny back at the dorms and drove around for a while. “Looking for anything in particular?” Elisa asked, amused when they turned on to yet another dirt road.

  “A place where we can have some alone time.”

  Her heart started that thump, thump, thump thing it had done since the first time she’d laid eyes on him. “Like, sexy alone time?” With him, she could never be sure.

  Paul laughed and ran a hand over her hair. “Among other things. You’re not in trouble if that’s what you’re wondering.”

  Elisa let out a relieved breath. “Oh, good. I thought you might be mad I told Penny about, you know. Whacky whacky.” For a moment she thought he might drive off the road, he was laughing so hard.

  “Whacky whacky?”

  “Yes.”

  “All right, then. No, I’m not mad. A little surprised she took it so well, but not mad.”

  “She took it better than I would have, in reverse. I think she may actually like, you know, whacky whacky.” Elisa narrowed her eyes when Paul’s only response was a soft sort of humming noise in his throat. “What’s that mean? That noise you made?”

  “It just means we need to find a place for some quiet time,” he replied cryptically. “This should do.” He pulled off the side of the dirt road they’d been driving down and unbuckled his seat belt.

  Grinning, Elisa followed suit and started to straddle him, but he stopped her. “No. Over my lap.”

  Pouting, she sat back and crossed her arms. “You said I wasn’t in trouble.”

  “You’re not. Just trust me, little bird.”

  Confused and wary, she lowered herself over his lap. His hand swatted her bottom once, so lightly it didn’t even sting, before he started rubbing. Bit by bit, she began to relax over his lap.

  “I’ve wanted to do this for a very long time,” he said after a while.

  “Rub my ass? You rub it all the time.”

  “True. I also spank you. But this is going to be different.” Before she could ask him what he meant by that, he lifted his hand and brought it down against her backside. She yelped at the impact, but she realized after a moment it didn’t really hurt. There was a light sting, but nothing like when he punished her.

  There was also a significant reaction happening between her thighs, which was more unexpected than the spanking itself. He swatted her again, then went back to rubbing and squeezing her through her shorts.

  “Want me to keep going?”

  “Y
es, please,” she responded immediately, making him laugh. He spanked her, a bit harder and a bit longer this time, and after a few swats she was grinding her hips against his legs. Her pussy positively throbbed under his ministrations, and she wasn’t sure how to feel about it other than she wanted, desperately, to come.

  “Let’s get your shorts off,” Paul suggested, his voice low and rough like it got when they made love.

  She didn’t have to be told twice. Pushing herself up off his lap, she shoved the shorts down and off, then draped herself over his lap once again. This time when he spanked her, she jumped at the sting of skin on skin. “Ow! That one hurt.”

  “Give it a minute,” he said, rubbing the spot he’d assaulted.

  The sting quickly faded to a pleasant warmth, and she relaxed again, waiting for him to continue. He smacked her again, and though she jumped a bit, she was quickly lulled by the rhythmic smacking and the growing burn in her backside.

  By the time he stopped again, Elisa thought she might explode if he didn’t touch her. And then he did, dipping a finger in her to draw out her arousal, using it to tease her clit. Whimpering, Elisa pushed her hips back against his hand. Her efforts were rewarded with two hard slaps to her thighs.

  “Stay still.”

  She wasn’t used to being ordered around like that when they made love, and she made her opposition known by wiggling her hips against his hand. His free hand gripped her hair, yanking her head back and sending sharp pain shooting through her scalp.

  “You are not in charge here, little bird. I am. I decide when,” he pressed harder against her clit, taking her just to the edge of release, “and if you come.” He pulled his hand away, denying her that release. “Understand?”

  It was absurd. But she couldn’t deny the desire she felt. Not just physically, but the emotional desire she felt to submit to him, in every way. “Yes.”

  “Good girl. You’re going to want to come, but I want you to hold off until I give you permission.”

  “I can’t,” she whined, earning herself another sharp tug on her scalp.

  “Yes, you can,” he said simply, sliding two fingers inside of her, stroking her in an unbearably erotic imitation of sex. Whimpering, she folded her arms on the seat and buried her face in them, willing her body not to give in to what his hands were doing to her.

  “You’re doing great, baby,” he murmured as he teased and tortured her. “My good little bird. Hold it just a little longer.”

  His praise washed over her, and she realized she’d never wanted anything as much as she wanted to please him in that moment. The pleasure built inside of her, until she wanted to scream. She knew she couldn’t hold back much longer. She was teetering on the edge when she felt one of his fingers, slick with her own honey, dip between her bottom cheeks. Instinctively, she clenched at the intrusion.

  “Relax, little bird. Trust me.” And because she did, she loosened her muscles to allow him access. The feeling of his finger pressing into her, past the resistance of that ring of muscle felt strange, but not as painful as she’d expected. There was some discomfort, then a moment of sharp pain that quickly subsided.

  “How does that feel?”

  “Weird.” She shifted her hips experimentally, surprised by the flash of pleasure she felt. “But kind of nice.”

  “Good. I’m going to push in a little further.” He did just that, and she winced at the pain of his finger moving inside of her. She gasped when he pressed another finger against her clit as he slowly moved his finger in and out of her bottom. It was foreign and forbidden—and absolutely delicious. The pleasure was more than she could handle, and it took every ounce of control she had not to let go and let it take her over.

  “Do you want to come, little bird?”

  “Yes!” she sobbed, forgetting his earlier command to stay still and pressing her hips back against his hand.

  “Come now, baby.” With his permission, she stopped fighting it and let the pleasure come. It exploded inside of her, racing along her veins like lava as her vision blurred. Somewhere in the distance, she heard a woman scream, but she couldn’t seem to focus on anything but the pleasure he was giving her.

  She felt his finger pull out of her bottom, and she fleetingly felt bereft of its presence. It took her a moment to realize he was speaking to her.

  “What?”

  He chuckled and patted her bottom, sending little jolts of pleasure through her, like the aftershocks of an earthquake. “I asked if you liked your first good girl spanking.”

  “It was all right, I guess. Ow!” she squealed when he pinched one of her cheeks. “It was incredible, and you know it. Can we do that all the time?”

  “As long as you’re a good girl. All you have to do is ask.”

  She had a feeling they were going to be spending a lot of time in his truck.

  Chapter 7

  As it turned out, Elisa loved college. She excelled in her courses, though she would have bitten off her own tongue before admitting to Paul that his unwavering belief in her had anything to do with her newfound academic success. The only thing she was struggling to adjust to were Paul’s strict, unbending rules. Her own parents had mostly let her do as she pleased, and even the few rules they’d had for her had been ridiculously easy to get around.

  Not so, she was learning, with Paul. At least once a week she found herself draped over his lap in the cab of his pickup, parked on some old back road as he mercilessly paddled her bare bottom. Every time, he dropped her off at her dorm with a kiss goodnight and a reminder to behave, and every time, she went to bed wondering about the bizarre turn her life had taken over the past five months.

  As a result, she found herself glaring at a blank document on her computer screen, willing the words to appear for a paper she’d been avoiding for two weeks. Paul had made his opinion on her procrastination well known to her the night before, and her backside still ached from the small, wooden paddle he’d somehow gotten his hands on. But instead of feeling sweet and obedient, as she usually did for at least a few days after such a session, she was thoroughly agitated by the whole ordeal.

  “Let’s go shopping,” she said suddenly, spinning her chair around to face Penny, who was currently stretched out on Elisa’s bed scowling at her math homework.

  “We can’t. I have to study for this goddamn test and you have to write a paper.”

  “Says who?”

  Penny looked over, her lips tilting up in a small, mischievous smile. “Says the man who already paddled your ass once for putting it off.”

  Elisa rolled her eyes. “Paul needs a chill pill. He can’t control everything I do. Come on, we’ll just get out of here for a few hours, clear our heads, and then come back and bury ourselves in work for the rest of the weekend. Please?”

  “Fine.” Slamming her textbook shut, Penny sat up and stretched. “But I’m not putting lotion on your ass when Paul finishes with you.”

  “Don’t worry about me. I can handle Paul.” Grabbing her friend’s hand, she hauled Penny to her feet and dragged her out the door. They took the T into town, and wandered the streets of Knoxville until they decided to stop for dinner.

  The fact that it was already dinner time should have been a warning for Elisa, but she was enjoying the rare moment of freedom too much to consider it. At least until Penny brought it up while they were eating.

  “So how pissed is Paul going to be?”

  Elisa frowned down at her salad, suddenly uneasy at the thought of facing her über-strict boyfriend. “Paul is never pissed. It’s actually kind of annoying. He’s always calm and levelheaded, even when I’m in trouble. I think he may be a robot.”

  Penny snorted out a laugh. “I can see that. He talked Michael down off the ledge more than once when we were kids. Think you’ll be in a lot of trouble?”

  “Probably.” Elisa set her fork down and signaled for the check. “Can we head back? I’m not really hungry.”

  “Sure, sweetie.” Penny patted her hand
and swallowed her last bite of burger before they paid the check and headed out.

  When they walked into their dorm room a while later, Paul was stretched out on Elisa’s bed reading a book, waiting for her. He looked up when they walked in, then set his book aside and studied them.

  “I’m sorry,” Elisa blurted out, tears already filling her eyes.

  Paul’s eyebrows lifted, the only outward sign of emotion he gave. “Let’s go for a ride and we can talk about it.”

  Elisa’s heart sank, even though she’d been expecting it. After mumbling a quiet goodbye to Penny, she followed Paul out to his truck. He opened the door and helped her in, pausing for a moment to brush a stray lock of hair from her face. The tenderness of the gesture caught her off guard, and more tears slipped down her cheeks.

  “So,” Paul began as he pulled out of the parking lot, “why are you sorry?”

  Elisa shifted uncomfortably in the seat as she thought carefully about her answer. “I blew off my paper again.”

  “Why?”

  “I don’t know. I really don’t,” she insisted, at his sideways glance. “I just felt really restless today and I wanted to get out for a while. I don’t think I can do this,” she added quietly, before she lost her nerve.

  “Do what, baby? College? You’re doing great.”

  “No. You and me. All the rules. I’m not good at following rules.”

  “I know. But that’s okay.”

  Elisa rolled her eyes, and turned in the seat to face him. “It’s not okay. I don’t want you to spank me all the time! My ass can’t take much more of this, Paul.”

  Paul stayed silent as they turned off the main road, and the silence stretched as he drove for a few miles and turned onto an old dirt road. The sky was turning to twilight, and Elisa’s nerves were about to snap. They stopped, pulling off the side of the road and Paul put the truck in park before turning to her.

  “Elisa, look at me, baby.”

  Reluctantly, she looked over at him, relieved to see the love and understanding in his eyes. “How can we make this easier for you?”